He had a math degree

My friend continues to struggle with the aftermath of a breakup that questioned her entire identity, her purpose, her sense of self. It’s interesting that in our constant back and forth texts discussing her thoughts and emotions around the relationship, she consistently refers to him as “the ex.” Not by name, even though I knew … Continue reading

When it rains, it pours

Nearly every day for the past several weeks, I have cried myself into a migraine. Things have been so, so difficult lately. As a kid I never really understood why adults would look so miserable getting through their workday, and when someone would ask what’s been dragging them down, they would respond, “life.” But sometimes … Continue reading

The murderers among us

She wore a grey sweatshirt with colourful block letters. It’s the first cold day of the year. The forecast said it would be drizzling all day and you had to wonder if it was snow hitting your skin and melting instantly, under the pretense of rain. When I asked how her morning was, she seemed … Continue reading

Curiouser and curiouser

It’s strange, the things you learn about yourself when you ever so slightly detach yourself from the idea of what you think you should be. A lot of my adult life has been defined by life choices adopted from my religion–which I love and respect, which has brought me more peace than anything in the … Continue reading

Trauma

I haven’t known trauma firsthand. I knew that going into the refugee clinic, I should read about PTSD before hand. I read up on the diagnostic criteria and committed as much to memory as I could. What I found instead were women with real life horror stories that couldn’t fit into any criteria. These women’s … Continue reading

Cutting ties

It’s a great mental effort to decide that you’re done revisiting the past and that you’ve closed the door on something (or someone). But that mental effort is made so much more solidified when you make that last grand gesture of closure, send that last text that probably won’t make a difference, that might even … Continue reading

January, again

If you’ve creeped my blog long enough (and some of you have ;)), you’ll know that January is my humpday of the year. Someone told me that if you get through January, you’ll get through anything, and in some sort of self-fulfilling prophecy this has turned out to be true. It’s the end of January. … Continue reading

Some cheese with that whine

My heart is pounding loudly and uncomfortably in my chest, even though I’m sitting on my bed at 10pm during what’s supposed to be my post-shower relaxing time. I don’t know exactly what’s going on, but I suspect it has to do with the angry text (serial texts) I’ve just sent my sister outlining my … Continue reading

Womanhood

Today I floated in a hot tub surrounded by women, greeting and kissing each other, calling loudly over one another in their respective languages, women who are cultured and ethnic and bringing their histories in the pool with them. I watched these fierce fiery women who take no shit from anyone connect over small talk … Continue reading