Emotionally taxing

Today, the machine that is med school made its most valiant effort to incorporate spirituality into the sterile, asceptic environment they’ve created for us. I’m honestly glad they tried, but today took a toll on me when we were supposed to break off into groups and talk about how similar we all are and how spirituality unifies us, and I realised just how different I am from everybody else.

Religion elicits fear in their hearts and images of war on their retinas. Theology causes their eyes to glaze over. Spirituality is a synonym for culture. Ontological arguments make them look around the room for who might understand what’s being said, if they actually wasted their time taking a philosophy course in undergrad.

It is just surreal that the single biggest driving factor in my entire life, Islam, goes completely neglected by the majority of med students. M-e-d-i-c-a-l students. You know, those cream of the crop, elite, gifted, top-2-percent, smartest-in-the-room, highest-on-the-food-chain stakeholders in our society. Those people revered as the most intelligent amongst the Homo sapiens. Those do-it-all, superman/superwoman, type-A personalities. Yeah, them. They haven’t even sat down to wonder what their purpose is in life.

It just boggles my mind that people meander this earth and make their way through life without defining for themselves a belief system. Like, okay, I understand if you’re not 100% theist or 100% atheist or you’re deontological but not religious and all that. And I totally get it if you’re still looking for answers and are somewhere on your journey. But those are stances. How does one get through 22 years of life, including so-called academic life at a higher institution, and not have answers for themselves as to the most fundamental question of their existence. No, not just answers–haven’t even thought about it. Haven’t even given it a few years or months or a day or a half-hour of contemplation. As if this most quintessential question doesn’t deserve consideration or fleshing out when that time can be spent studying, or partying, or wasted on Facebook.

God, please help me to reconcile this. Because I swear I came out of there completely shaken by lack of concern people seem to have about their existence. Are we like Wall-E, just a bunch of blundering idiots just gorging ourselves on intelligence, food, sex, status, and wealth, without any consideration of what might happen if there did turn out to be a God? And even if you can’t fathom anything but evolution being the source of our existence, doesn’t that warrant some thought about the Big Bang Theory and cosmology and the greater purpose (or lack of purpose) of the universe, and of you in the grand scheme of things?

This will, I’m sure, sound melodramatic to some, judgmental to others, and just plain rude, most likely. But I cannot censor how I feel about the single most important question in life. When you woke up from your mother’s womb, what made you, you? What gave you life? What gave you a purpose? What point does your existence serve?

Think. Reflect. Please.

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One thought on “Emotionally taxing

  1. I understand your conundrum…but I also see how someone can go through their lives not thinking about why they are here – simply because there are so many other things they have been taught are important in life (money, status, etc) and wondering why they are here isn’t one of them. It’s not surprising for me to hear that the other med students are mostly in a happy bubble of oblivion – these are the people who know (and arguably, care) a lot about the things society values, like status, money, prestige, etc. They have learned these social values and now they OWN them. Now, if being religious or spiritual was highly valued in this society, I bet you they would have been more likely to consider questions about God and the purpose of existence. I think people are a product of their social context in many ways.

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