The extra daylight must be getting to my head

Summer feels like the only time when I’m in charge of my own education. This is when I really get to learn what matters. Sure, it’s important to know the signs of congestive heart failure and all that. But how glorious is it that I get to pick up any book I want or flick through any documentary or movie and just sit back and absorb, absorb, absorb. No worrying about deadlines. No minute details to memorise. Just sit and get educated about the world.

For the summer, I have lined up for me: a full-time office job, the Insanity workout regime, an Islamic creed class, Monday night mosque, finishing up my research paper, working on HAL, and a whole lotta doing whatever the hell I feel like. I have to admit the lattermost takes up a lot of time, and I’m about to go delay a bunch of responsibilities to bake some banana chocolate chip cookies. But this delicate balance of having just the right amount of routine with a fair portion of “screw it, I’m gonna go watch the sunset from the porch” has proven to be so, so good for my peace of mind. I feel better about my life, and everything in it, now than I have for the past two years.

People who are toxic for you hold you back, often without either of you realising it. It could be as simple as a friend who constantly needs to one-up you; it could be as massive as you sacrificing your career for someone you want to marry. The point is, nobody really, truly knows what’s best for you besides yourself. We’re past the age where mommy and daddy are always right, and we’re certainly dipping our feet into a pool of false friendships and hierarchical relationships where you may be nothing more to a person than an instrument, or a convenience. Well, this is where being in charge of your own life comes in. I didn’t expect to be writing about writing about this, but maybe when I feel more in control and more purposeful recently, maybe it’s not just about what I’m learning but about my entire life. I’ve cut a few toxic people out of my life recently, and I feel their weight being lifted off the load I’ve been carrying around with me for years now. I’m being a little bit selfish for the next little while, and so far it’s been working out great.

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