I should have written this weeks ago

It’s been Christmas break for over a week, and I’ve been bathing in post-OSCE glory for over 2 weeks now. I started the break off thinking to myself… Okay, M, you need to keep refreshing these topics. Come on, you finished internal medicine and this is the smartest you’ll be for at least the next two years. Come on, you know as soon as you start slacking off, you won’t start again. Come on M, you have a bunch of articles to read before starting pediatrics. You need to refresh–you don’t know the first thing about babies!

Boy was I right. Weeks later I haven’t even finished the bits and pieces of assignments from last block. Let alone refresh the rotation, let alone start on the next one. But ya know, no regrets. Break is good. Being completely not a medical student–is good.

Internal medicine was hard. Internal medicine OSCE was brutal. I don’t even want to think about it. I should have done better, and I made stupid mistakes, but also, some things were really unfair.

But internal medicine itself was so unique in the things I saw, the things I learned, and the things I could have learned if I had worked harder. It was challenging and pushed me every day. At the beginning I was pushed just to keep up: standing for 4 hours of rounds, going 7 hours without eating, seeing all my patients, speaking fast enough to not waste the attending’s time. Then when I got the hang of that, it was a challenge to learn enough, go home and do my readings, retain enough the next day to survive the pimping. Then, near the end, it became a challenge to care about the quality of work when all I could think of was the OSCE looming ahead. Internal medicine was a whirlwind with an absolutely insane learning curve and ultimately a challenge to be the best friggen medical student I could be.

Still not thinking about it career-wise, truth be told, but definitely expanded my respect for this specialty by a mile. And made me realise what to do an elective in when I want to brush up my skills on bread and butter medicine: diagnosing and treating everything across the board.

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