Today was my last call shift of MS3. Also, I think my last call shift until February!!!
I’m not trying to be cheesy, but today when I sat directly on top of one of the thick roots in that picture, I felt grounded. I took deep breaths and felt the warm air on my skin and everything felt good. I know psychiatry is my calling. It’s the feeling when the patient tells me “thank you, doc, I really appreciate it” and it’s the feeling when I make a decision about someone’s treatment plan, someone who has no idea what to expect and is literally making themselves as vulnerable as possible to us while they entrust themselves into our care. It’s talking to people about their deepest, darkest secrets and them knowing they will be okay after it all.
I was thinking what I might say at the end of this rotation when I undertake the unnerving task of asking for a reference letter, if my preceptor asks me the dreaded question of “why do you want to do this specialty?” And the first answer that came to my mind is, “I feel home on this service.” It’s probably very, very uncommon for third year interns to feel home in anything. But the fact that I do tells me everything I need to know.