I guess I should write about CaRMS. I mean, it’s a pretty important experience that I’ll be looking back on. But it’s hard to write your feelings about something you’re so completely immersed in, something you’re doing 24/7 and are thinking about 24/7…
I’ve interviewed at most of the Ontario schools (minus Toronto), and some of the prairies. I just watched a video clip for a vlog I was making about how I was feeling about the programs prior to starting interviews, as in where I’d ideally like to be as my top few schools. Um, that has COMPLETELY changed. I guess being physically present in a university, asking residents, hearing the presentations first hand–all these things can completely sway one’s mind from one top choice to another.
Yes, I’ve made a spreadsheet with all the possible factors that could be important to me in choosing a program. Yes, I’m jotting down all my first impressions after each day. But maybe all this is futile… at the end of the day, almost everyone’s advice is, “Go with your gut feeling. Whatever fits best for you.” That is REALLY hard to digest as an analytical, sciency person. But that’s probably all it comes down to. 1) Where do you wanna live for the next five years? 2) What program feels right?
Maybe that’s not such a bad thing. I know for a fact there have been programs for me already which “feel righter” than others. There were ones that made me feel comfortable, made me feel like they had gotten to know me, and were willing to listen to my needs. There are still a few things I don’t like about each one, because nothing will ever be perfect, and I acknowledge that. But are people willing to hear my concerns?
At the end of the day, all these programs are fantastic, Royal College approved, and will produce great psychiatrists. At the end of the day too, a lot comes down to how much you put in as an individual, your hard work and motivation, and you can make something of yourself anywhere. So maybe I need to stop stressin so damn much.